Exactly As Planned
by Lady-Nuriko
Summary: It was just a routine undercover job with a routine plan in a routine place. There was nothing that could go wrong. Right? Roy was going to find out what happens when you miss one minor detail.


The light hanging above his table flickered periodically, swaying from the chain that held it fixed to the roof, a testament to its fading life. Roy sat across from Jean dressed in civilians for the undercover mission they were on. They were in a high end club on the eastern side of Central. They had made sure to arrive earlier then their target to stake the place out. Both men had a wire directly to Fuery that sat in a surveillance van around the corner.

Their target was known to the military as a crime boss that was smuggling in foreign arms to the country. Normally this would have been given to the Military police to deal with but being that he was also a dangerous albeit talented alchemist the job was given to him and his men. Mustang hadn't seemed concerned, they had done many jobs like this in the past, and guys like him were all the same. They hid out, drank a lot, talked a lot, maybe threaten their lives. Typical.

As the plan was laid out, he offered up his Lieutenant as bait for the plan. From Fuery's intelligence this Grant Reynard loved his alcohol and his cute girls. God, how cliché he was. It was a good thing criminals didn't get any original ideas otherwise it would force him to actually think.

He glanced over his drink towards the bar where he noticed Riza enter. She was dressed in navy blue gown with a rather large slit that was very unlike his Lieutenant, but for tonight she wasn't his precious subordinate. She was Elizabeth, their planted bait.

* * *

Riza adjusted her gown absently with her hand, making careful motions so not to touch the piece she had concealed beneath the folds of her dress. With the feigned attention of brushing a lock of hair back from her face she gave a subtle hand signal in Roy's direction, she was ready and would commence the operation.

She took an empty seat at the bar and ordered something that Roy had on a number of occasions bought for her. She really wasn't much of a connoisseur when it came to alcohol but it was all to go with the persona. Thankfully she only had to wait about ten minutes before she noticed their target enter. He had one lackey with him but they split up upon entering. As he walked by her seat she could feel his gaze linger on her for a moment longer than necessary before he continued to the back corner table. She took another sip from the martini as she passed the time and giving her best bored and lonely routine. After a few agonizing moments and the failure to attract the man's attention further she decided to go in for herself. Picking up her drink she moved with slow deliberate steps towards the back table.

"Can I join you?" She peered down at him and gave her best warm smile, while hoping to appear appropriately apprehensive.

Reynard glanced up at her, returning her smile and gesturing to the seat across from her. "All alone tonight my dear?"

Riza obliged, slipping into the booth and setting her drink down. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I just moved to Central and don't know anyone yet." She fidgeted with the stem of her glass turning it between her fingers as she spoke.

"Yeah? You best be careful with who you make friends with. Central has many dangerous folk around; it wouldn't do for someone as pretty as you to get hurt." He regarded her seriously before letting his eyes wander across the bar.

Riza regarded him cooly and crossed her legs under the table, making sure she would 'accidently' brush up against his leg as she did. "I don't mind a little danger"

The action brought Reynards attention back to her where as a moment before it was fixated somewhere else in the room. He finished the last of his beer in one large swig, returning the empty glass to the table and flagging down one of the waitresses for another. "Look my dear. I'm sure you're a nice girl and all and I hope you're happy in Central but you're not my type." As he spoke he gave a small nod with his head towards the other side of the room.

Riza glanced over her shoulder in that direction and she could feel her face warming suddenly. "Oh…" Was all she managed before he gave her a small wink and excused himself from the table. Riza was left at a loss for words and she was trying to hold back her out of character laugh. The plan had derailed before she even knew it was in trouble. She wondered how he would react to this.

* * *

Roy and Jean were idly chatting back and forth, background noise for them as they listened and watched for how Hawkeye was doing. They couldn't hear her conversation from their booth but caught the quick motions from her hand signals and it appeared all was fine until he noticed Reynard was looking directly at them. Had he noticed he was being tagged? The glance from Hawkeye was strange but it wasn't the look of a plan blown. Mustang had resumed a pointless conversation with Jean by the time Reynard stood up. The look he gave Jean told him to be ready for anything; if he tried to escape they would need to intervene. If he tried to use alchemy in here it would be bad. Hopefully he wasn't that stupid. Reynard stopped in front of the table where the two undercover soldiers sat; he judged the situation quickly and stared down at Roy.

"Can I buy you a drink sir? I can guarantee my company is a lot more interesting" The older alchemist informed, referring to the men's idle chat about which shop carried the best fruit. A topic which to anyone listening was just that, but to the two men was a code about the girls who worked in said shops. "I make it a point to know all the cute men in Central."

Roy's brain stopped working.

Jean looked up at the older man who was almost twice his commanding officers age, than back at Roy who looked like he might faint. "Oh! Look at that, my glass is almost empty, best be taking care of that." Jean hopped up, taking his beer from the table and gave Roy a wink as Reynard took the previously occupied seat. "You boys have fun."

Roy sat in horror as events spun into a shit show of epic proportions. Once his brain started functioning again he cursed Fuery and his flawless intelligence. He didn't prefer females at all.

After excusing himself, Jean made his way across the bar, he made it appear if we was searching for somewhere else to sit, by this time the bar was becoming more crowded. Fuery still had a link with him and Roy so he wasn't concerned with being out of ear shot. He spotted Riza who was still seated at the table and turned on his best gentleman charm. "I couldn't help but notice your partner for the evening has left you. Care for some company?"

Jean and Riza as their undercover selves exchanged an unspoken conversation in just one knowing but blind-sided look. She only hoped he could keep his cool and follow through with the plan. Jean relayed coded messages to Fuery in the van informing him of the situation as they continued to watch Roy from the shadows. He hadn't charcoaled the man yet which was definitely a good sign.

* * *

As the evening went on Roy had proved to be impressively convincing with feigning interest and not breaking the man's fingers every time he brushed them against the side of his arm or touched his face. Someone back in the office was going to pay for this. Periodically in his head set he could hear Jean's voice communicating with Fuery and updating him followed by a stifled laugh.

 _I could demote him._  
 _Latrine duty for a year._  
 _Without pay._  
 _In the north.  
And bears... lots of bears._

The list went on. One evening, he would get the information from him tonight and then lock his pervy ass up. At least one of his assumptions from the evening was correct. He loved his drinks and the more he drank the more he talked. The easier and less effort needed for Roy to continue to feign interest. All he had to do was ask questions and deal with the wandering hands.

"Want to see something fun?" He asked excitedly, leaning in closer to Roy. "My man and I are going to pick some goods up at the docks. You should come along. After Ill treat you to something special."

Roy's stomach twisted at the last part. No. Absolutely not. This is what they were waiting for. Their way in and his way to end it.

As soon as Reynard and Roy left the bar, sure enough his man was waiting for them. With the signal from Jean it took only a moment for the road and surrounding area to be swarmed by the MP. With no escape, Reynard surrendered without a fight. Jean and Riza came up standing beside Roy as Reynard and his man were arrested. The dumbfounded look on his face as he watched Roy give orders to the soldiers made Roy feel a bit better.

* * *

"Whoever doesn't stop laughing will find themselves demoted three ranks in the morning." Roy seethed, his eye twitching as he sat in the back seat of the car with Riza. Jean and Fuery were in the front and both had been howling since they got in the car. "It was your bad intelligence that led to the whole situation!"

"You have to admit Boss, the look on your face was priceless!" Jean retorted, remembered the nights events.

Roy sulked back against the seat with his arms folded. "Really? Even you Hawkeye?" He glanced over at her, her body was turned away from him so he couldn't see her face but her shoulders were shaking slightly.

"I'm sorry Sir…" She said, regaining her cool composure. "Your planned worked perfectly otherwise."


End file.
